i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
ttyl tear gas
I made him laugh his dick is mine
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
