She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
