I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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