Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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