Who did Billy Mays play for?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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