Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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