glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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