I didn't shave. On purpose
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
