VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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