Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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