Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When are your genitals available?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
