Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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