they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
