Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize