can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
