There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
