come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
