Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
