you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize