he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
