I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize