Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
