I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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