She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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