My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
