Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize