I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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