Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
