It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
