If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
