Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
