okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's Friday. Sex?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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