Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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