Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
