SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
