do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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