I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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