life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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