guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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