the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
