Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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