i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
