Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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