By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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