i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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