I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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