i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
