I'm really into asian looking animals
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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