Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
