how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
