dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
