i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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