PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I AM VODKA MAN
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
