You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
youre lurking in front of me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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