for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
