the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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