no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
