well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
