So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
