i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize