i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We left the knife in your bed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
