I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
