I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize