whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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