I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
